Not getting anywhere yet

I have not lost any weight since my last post. As a matter of fact, my weight has been around 182-183 mark for the last month. I tried going on a high protein diet, but felt sick and crabby while on it. My job responsibilities changed about a month ago, so I'm in a new building with new people. So instead of having 2 shorter breaks and eating twice a day, I've been having a larger meal once a day at work. I thought maybe that would help me lose weight, but it hasn't made a difference either. I know what I need to do. I know I need to track my calories and eat below my maintain weight calories, but I still want a short cut. I don't want to be hungry at my job because I have had a hard enough time not being crabby as it is. If I'm hungry I'll have a really short fuse. As soon as I get home I usually am hungry and I want to emotionally eat. This weekend I've managed to keep my calories very low, but my husband is gone for the weekend, and I don't have to work, so I don't have the outside stress. Without the stress of every day life, I have the will power to go on a low calorie diet. I just wish I had that motivation when I have to actually deal with life.

Need to lose 30 pounds in 56 weeks

My sister has set her wedding date for October 6, 2012.  That means I have just over a year to lose about 25 to 30 pounds. I've been hovering around the high 170's for the past month.  A few days I even hit the 180 mark:(  So, I'm going to set my goal of weighing 150, which would mean losing about 30 pounds.  I keep thinking that the wedding is go far away that if I lose any weight now, I'll just gain it back, but then I realized that if I want to lose 30 pounds by next October, I'll need to lose slightly more than a half pound a week.  It would take 60 weeks to lose 30 pounds at the half pound a week rate and the wedding is only a little over 56 weeks away.  So, I better get going!

Uh Oh, I was asked to be the matron of honor...

I've really let myself go.  I have gained ALL the weight back.  As a matter of fact, I had deja vu last weekend while at my husband's uncle's funeral. I was wearing the black pants that I mentioned in my Spark People post in August 2009, and they were once again way too tight to be comfortable in. So the first thing I did when I got home was weigh myself.  I weighed in at 180.5.  Two years later and all my work I did to lose 35 pounds is gone!  I'm so disappointed in myself.

I have not started counting calories again, but I have been purposely trying to eat a little less. I weighed in at 174.5 this morning, so I'm making some progress already.  Also, when ever we go to visit my husband's family I tend to gain some water weight.  We usually spend a few days there since it's over a 4 hour drive.  But that usually means we stop for salty fast food on the way there and back. Also, we usually eat out sometime during the weekend.  This might be a little TMI, but I usually am a little constipated whenever I visit, maybe because my subconscious is not as comfortable with me doing number 2 in someone else's house. So after just getting back to my routine for a couple days, I was at 174.5 by Tuesday and have been around that number each day since.

So I was already trying to motivate myself to eat less this week and then on Wednesday I was asked to be the matron of honor at my sister's wedding!  Now I have something to really get me motivated to lose weight again. The only problem is the wedding isn't until October 2012, so I don't feel a sense of urgency yet.  I feel like I'll just gain back any weight I lose now.

Weigh In #9 - Whoops!

I feel like I've been so busy lately, so I have not bothered to track calories, go to the gym more than the minimum amounts of time to get an insurance rebate, or to even weigh myself.  In the last few days I've noticed I look big again, so tonight I finally dug the scale out of the cabinet and weighed in.  I'm almost 170 pounds!  The exact number was 169.4.  Wow.  A year ago I was hovering around 145, so I have put on 25 pounds.  My absolute heaviest I have been was 180, but even then that was after a weekend of excessive eating, and I was usually around 175, so I'm only a few pounds shy of going back to my heaviest.  It took me about 9 months to lose the weight before and now all that hard work is out the window.  At least this time I know I can do it.  Prior to August of 2009 I had never had much success in losing more than 5 pounds, but when I actually took the time to track calories, it actually worked.  I did that for about a year, but when I started my new job in August 2010, I felt like I didn't have the time to track anymore and also not as much time to exercise.  I still have the same job, but I NEED to make the time. I also have another reason to get back on track. My sister is getting married in fall 2012.  I'm assuming she will be asking me to be a part of the bridal party, so I want to look good for that.  I almost wish it wasn't so far away because I need motivation.  If it was fall of this year, I think I'd have a little more drive to do what I need to do to.

Emotional Eating and Weigh-In #8

I've really been dealing with a lot of emotional eating lately.  I just don't know how to get happy.  Tuesday I was feeling even more down than normal, so I went to the store and bought some donuts, chips, cookies and chocolate candy. I also bought a bottle of "St. John's Wort".  I've never used that before, but I was feeling desperate.  So for the past two mornings I took a pill and I have to say I feel a little better.  The only bad thing is I still have some left over junk food in the house.  I just weighed in and I'm 164.5:(  I know some of that is due to eating very poorly the last few days.  I'm going to meet an old friend from school in 2 weeks and I haven't seen her in over 10 years. She is one of those people with a perfect body - I'm jealous of the  photos of her on vacation that she posted on Facebook.  In several photos she was on the beach and a bikini.  So, I was really motivated to lose some weight a week ago, but when I'm feeling low I really don't care.  Now I just need to keep reminding myself about seeing my old friend and maybe I can drop at least a couple pounds.

Weigh in #7

Just weighed in for the first time in a while, and I am 163.2. So I think that's one of my higher weights since I started this blog.  I didn't eat very well today.  There were free donuts at work, so I had 2 of them.  Then I had a Totino's party pizza for lunch - the whole thing, and then when I got home from work, I went to the drive thru at Burger King and had 2 BK stackers and onion rings. Once I finished that, I had some ice cream.  Sadly, I think sometimes food is one of my few joys in life when I don't do much else besides the same routine of get up way too early, drag my butt out of bed, go to work, come home and maybe have an hour to myself before my husband gets home from work, then I make dinner and maybe spend some time online or watching a tv show, and then go to bed. Because my time is so limited, I rarely want to spend any of my evenings exercising. So sadly I know I need to start losing weight again, but I just can't seem to get motivated to eat better and take some of my precious free time and spend it at the gym. It's times like this I wish there was a weight loss pill that worked.

Trying an experiment and weigh in #6

I've heard that sleep is an essential part of losing weight.  There is an article from Psychology Today which says you actually burn more calories sleeping.  I was listening to a radio interview the other day in which a woman lost 7 pounds in 10 weeks just by getting enough sleep. I've gained quite a bit of weight since I started my new job, and I think it's partially to do with cutting back on sleep.  I'm still getting between 7 and 8 hours most nights, but I think I need about 8.5. So I'm going to try to get to bed earlier (since unfortunately I can't sleep in any later because of work) and see if I start losing weight. 

Oh and by the way, the weigh in this week was 160.8.